Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Taskmaster Kitty

Austin, monitoring my work and keeping me focused...on him.

Whether you work from home full time, 
work from home occasionally,
or just want to get on your computer to pay some bills
or check your e-mail,
it always seems Kitty is there to "assist."
Here's an excerpt from a fun article
about all the ways Kitty likes to
micro-manage the process.

1. Constantly reading over my shoulder

It's annoying when someone is reading over my shoulder -- especially if I'm trying to write something. My cats don't care and feel the need to regularly oversee and inspect what I'm doing on the computer. If they don't like what I'm writing, they take the liberty of making changes by walking across the keyboard. This is distracting and disrespectful behavior from supervisors. It's like they don't trust me.

Phoebe constantly offers her two cents.
And theat the end of the day, Phoebe turns into the boss from Office Space"Yeah, um ... I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday." Guess what? I'm already working on Saturday because your micromanaging prevents me from getting my work completed during the work week! 

2. Making me work long hours with few breaks


Aren't there employment laws against this?
My cats take up residency in my lap for hours on end, making it difficult for me to take breaks. This means I wind up working with a full bladder and a growling stomach. I'm certain this inhumane treatment violates all kinds of company policies. I think it's time to report this behavior to human resources. Wait ... they're HR, too. Crap.

3. Always inspecting my beverages


Phoebe, sometimes you drive me to drink, but this is WATER.
Sure, sometimes I enjoy an adult beverage after I clock out at the end of the day, but I never drink on the job. For whatever reason, my cats don't trust me and are always suspicious of what's in my cup. It's like they're waiting for me to slip so they can dish out the discipline. Are you kidding? Do they think I'm going to drink cocktails when there's no chance of potty breaks? They've obviously never met my bladder.

4. Dishing up unrealistic challenges


How am I supposed to know what's on my to-do list now?? Thanks a lot.
"Get these articles written before noon," Phoebe says. And then she stands on top of my to-do list so I can't read any information about the articles I need to write. So conniving! I think my cats set me up to fail. It's not because they don't love me -- it's because it's another opportunity to show me who's in control around here. 

Phoebe: "Oh, you need to scan something? Guess you'll need to get creative."

5. Intrusive behavior

Not only do my cats prevent me from getting my work completed, they repeatedly violate my privacy and embarrass me during business calls. As soon as Phoebe hears a fax come through, she has her nose all up inside its contents. She wants to know who's sending me faxes and if they're business-related. If she doesn't like what she sees -- or just wants to mess with me -- she grabs the incoming fax and races off with it. I'm sorry to say I've lost valuable information because of that unprofessional shenanigan. 

Hey! Don't run off with those faxes!
And trying to conduct a business phone call is futile. They walk around my chair and across my desk meowing loudly. "Who is it?" What do they want?" "Is this a personal phone call?" Sometimes I have to lock myself in my car to make calls. And then I return to a written warning on my desk: "Yeah, um ... I'm gonna need you to work an extra hour today to make up for the unapproved break you took in your car. Also, I'm gonna need five cans of Fancy Feast. Chicken and Gravy."
Does your cat try to supervise you? Tell us about it in the comments! 

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