Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Cat Crashers

Why Cats Knock Stuff Over

* By Lisa Velonovsky, KSC Super-Volunteer

I read a blurb in Parade magazine that promised the secret behind cats’ seemingly endless fascination with knocking over stuff.  All would be revealed by Jackson Galaxy if I simply logged onto Parade’s web site.  I could barely contain my excitement!  What deep insight would he share?  Before I could even speculate, my cat knocked over a cup of coffee, obliterating the magazine page. Clearly the cat did not want me in on her secret.

At my house, we’ve always assumed that all questionable cat behavior is, in fact, part of a carefully orchestrated feline campaign to demonstrate how much smarter they are.  Fluffy takes out your entire knick-knack collection? She’s telling you it’s junk. Scratches the heck out of your couch while completely ignoring the expensive sisal scratching post? “Time to redecorate; that red damask is so yesterday.”  Opens every single cabinet door in your entire house? ”Let’s make sure everyone knows that you stuff photos and old magazines in that hallway chest like a hoarder.” And don’t get her started on your wardrobe! “You’re not really thinking of wearing THAT top out of the house, are you? Here, let me throw up all over it. Much better.”

But, back to the behavior at hand -- knocking stuff over.  I go to the directed page to find that my cat is bored or curious. Maybe bored and curious.

“Think about a toddler who has been given crayons, but no paper.  Hello, bedroom wall mural!” trumpets Galaxy.  “Ask yourself, ‘Do we have enough cat toys?’ If the answer is yes, would he still rather bat a cup off the table? If so, it’s time to get new toys!”

What?!? Any parent reading that advice would gag at the idea that a child who knocks stuff over and is bored with the toys he already has needs more.  (As I’m reading this, one of my many bored and/or curious cats apparently is reading right along. She sticks her paw down my water glass, looks me in the eye and knocks it over.)

Every cat person I know already has a house littered with forgotten, forsaken or patently ignored cat toys, most of them brand new.  I don’t think my cats are bored or curious. I think they are simply geniuses bending us to their will for their own amusement.  To wit, each day my husband makes endless crumpled paper or wrapped newspaper bag balls for our newest kitty.  Windsor sits patiently as my husband drops everything to complete the task. Then he happily fetches and bats the new ball around – for about three minutes – before abandoning it next to the one my husband made 15 minutes before.  So he can go knock something over. Honestly, our house looks like we do all our recycling directly on the floor.
So what conclusions have I drawn from all this?  1. Jackson Galaxy is now on the cats’ payroll, and 2. Cats knock stuff over because they can.

So, does Kitty knock over stuff in your home?  Is there anything that is NOT fair game for
Kitty to send-a-launching?  Weigh in below in the comment section.

Looking for a kitty to knock stuff over in your home?
Check out our available cuties HERE!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Conferences for Kitty

Many humans have grown accustomed to attending conferences or conventions, either for work or simply for an opportunity to dress up like their favorite Battlestar Galactica characters.
I think cats would have a heyday at conferences and conventions. 
Here are six they would enjoy attending.

1.  World Nap Association Convention and Trade Show

Cats are known to get wasted on nip and pass out at these conferences. Photo by eugenethephotobug
Cats love to nap and are always looking for new an interesting ways to catch some Z's. At the World Nap Association Convention and Trade Show, they can attend workshops facilitated by world renowned feline snooze experts. This year, tickets sold out in record time because Dr. Stripey McGravy led beginner as well as advanced sessions titled "Napping Positions Your Mother Never Told You About." 

2. The Feline Apathy Guild Annual Conference

Cats love the hands-on workshop where they practice mirroring looks of indifference with industry experts. Photo of Hector by Nicky Westbrook.
Members of the Feline Apathy Guild are usually late to register because they lose interest after reading the first paragraph of the invitation. As the date grows closer, they realize they probably should attend. After all, they should always stay current with new findings and methodology in the field of feline apathy. Plus, the keynote speech this year will be stage star Smokey Sullivan's "Give My Disregards to Broadway." 

3. Human Management Conference

As the keynote speaker encourages, "The pillow is yours. Claim it."
Kitties constantly seek updated methods for managing the humans in their lives. This intensive two-day conference has practical sessions with speakers and facilitators who are masters in their field of study. Due to popular demand, the "I Said, Open the Blinds!" workshop will return for a second year.
Between sessions, participants can choose between the casual "Power-Pawing on the Door" gathering or enjoy some down time in the Nap Zone. Newbies are invited to come early to participate in a mixer, where there will be various treats, water fountains, and a special musical performance by "Down With People."

4. N.I.P. (Network of Internet Pussycats) Conference

Whether you're a cat with a video already on the Internet, or you're simply dreaming of a career on YouTube or Vine, you're invited to participate in this fun conference. Cats will have the opportunity to mingle with experienced cat Internet stars and join one of the popular breakout sessions like "Roomba Riding 101" and "High Velocity Box-Sliding." 
Phoebe plans to attend and entered the video below in the N.I.P. "Make Me a Star" Awards. 

5. International Box and Lid Expo

Cats fight for the chance of being the pizza box model at the trade show. Photo by Laura_Innis
The International Box and Lid Expo is the premier gathering place for feline box enthusiasts from all corners of the world. The expo center boasts the largest display of boxes and lids and attendees are encouraged to test them all. Some of the crowd favorites are the containers that come with promises of food bits and grease, like pizza and doughnut boxes, and especially the lids.

6. FeedMe-Con

The cosplay at this conference is unmatched. Photo of Oscar by Natalie Huckelberry.
Cats who enjoy cosplay swarm to FeedMe-Con, which is a food-based convention for cats. The convention center (Oreo's basement) is lined with booths offering samples of the newest treats on the market, as well as tasty nibbles of cats' favorite human food. Last year, the line to meet Brighton, the giant bag of Cheetos, stretched up the stairs and through the kitchen. Get there early.

Come early if you want to meet the giant bag of Cheetos. Photo of Brighton by Teri Thorsteinson
What conference or convention would your cat attend? Tell us about it in the comments!

***See entire article here.